She's JV to your varsity
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
