And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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