I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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