dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
