i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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