I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It's rum buckets o'clock
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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