You made eat vitamins until I threw up
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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