If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
