Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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