You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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