We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just want nice things and good sex
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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