What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
