Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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