My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
So. Much. Porn.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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