I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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