She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
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