is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
