so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
No subtext here. People are naked.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize