That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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