I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
