Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just forgot I was standing up.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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