Acid is not a monday night drug
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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