I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
