I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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