hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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