i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
