I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Two words: nipple clamps
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