Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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