I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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