Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize