when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
