Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
