I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
