i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
