he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
