Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
this beer tastes like vomit already
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
