this boner is exhausting
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Shame - the story of my life.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
