You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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