God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
