I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
