My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
