dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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