maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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