So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize