Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
third nipple confirmed
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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