Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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