The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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