I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
