Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
