I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
