tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
