he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
