Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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