Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
