My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize