Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
