...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
