I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Be still, my beating vagina.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize