Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
