he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
