why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
