if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
