So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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