I was born with a shot glass in my hand
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I wear drunk well.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
