I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
