I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
